Words and the Power They Hold

Words influence how we view ourselves. In this podcast, we discuss some of our common word phrases that have gone unchecked for centuries. Those words and statements have worked against our family connectivity and contributed to some of our family conflicts. Listen to how we must work together to build a new narrative for a new generation. 

About the Madisel Group

MADISEL—Making A Difference In Someone Else’s Life!!

The MADISEL Group provides Behavior & Emotional Wellness Coaching services providing emotional and mental health wellness to youth & parents! We offer products and coaching/counseling services. No matter if it is crisis prevention or working on rebuilding broken relationships through improved communication, we are here to serve you. Therefore, we say: #BeWellNow!! 

Growth & Change are difficult tasks at any level of development. We all have blind spots and require help with seeing ourselves from the right perspective. Family is our greatest resource, let us help you keep it functioning well! 

“Family wellness strengthens the community. Strong communities influence the world.” 

by Sandra D. Johnson, MHSC

Madisel Group, LLC created and supports the #NewNarrative & #BeWellNow Initiatives. These initiatives propose that we each become more aware of the importance of our emotional and mental wellness by actively working to strengthen those areas. A change in the behaviors of what we think, say, and do are required. 

Production Credits

This episode of Words Fitly Spoken was recorded and edited by Mix Theory Studios, a music and multimedia studio located in downtown Jacksonville, Florida. This show features the MADISEL Group’s official song, an original music track written, mixed and mastered by Punchboi and DJ PM, the music production team of Mix Theory Studios.

Show Episode Transcripts

Welcome to at MADISEL Coach and MADISEL TV’s Words Fitly Spoken podcast. Hello there. I’m Coach Sandra, and I’m the host of Words Fitly Spoken podcast. Words Fitly spoken are words spoken at the right time for your encouragement and enrichment. On this podcast, we will deal with emotional and mental wellness by talking about the conflicts we have in our everyday relationships, whether at home, work, school, and the community.

Stop in to hear some helpful words that create awareness about your emotional health. Hey, welcome back in to at MADISEL Coach Words, Fitly Spoken. I’m family coach, Sandra, and I just want to talk to you today about some thoughts that may be a little random, but they all fit up under the heading of the importance of words and the power they hold again, words and the power they hold.

So words influence how we view ourselves incorrectly. You weren’t expecting to hear that, but I’ll say it again. Words influence how we view ourselves incorrectly. What am I talking about? So, um, as adults or parents. We pass on a heritage. What is that heritage? You can pass on insecurity, misunderstanding and emptiness because you’re not aware of how you’re using words.

So we’re talking about the words and the power that words can hold. Again, you pass on insecurity and misunderstanding and emptiness. Here is an old narrative that is in the atmosphere. You can do anything you want. Really? Really? It’s all the things that are stuck in my head? You can do anything you want.

Here’s something that’s, uh, concerns me about that statement. Because what I’m finding is… In the town we’re living in, a lot of young people are unmotivated. Uh, they don’t want to work. Uh, they don’t want to take care of a house. They don’t want to move forward in development. And, and then there’s conflict in the family.

And someone will call in a person like me, a therapist, a counselor, a coach. And they want us to help put the pieces back together because there’s a lot of broken pieces that are going on. But the old narrative, that person believes, well, I can do anything I want. And so then they say, well, I want to sit here and live off of you parent and I’m not going to clean your house.

I’m not going to take care of your animals. I’m just going to live in this space. You told me I could do anything I want. Well, this is what I want to do. Nothing. Now we have a problem now we have a problem Okay, so maybe that was not the best thing to tell a growing and developing mind because We’re not really encouraged by some of the things we’re seeing in the times we’re living in

How about this if we maybe switch it up Not the what But the who, what do you want to be when you grow up? Okay. That’s another one. What do you want to be when you grow up? And so my challenge to you is take the what off of that and say, who do you want to be while you’re growing up? That’s a new narrative.

That’s a different way to say it. Who do you want to be while you’re growing up? Here’s the reason that I think. That’s one of those things that we can adjust. Um, because you see adults are asking the wrong questions. We gotta be more mindful and aware of what we’re saying. If I’m saying you can do anything you want, it’s really within reason.

Because there’s some things that you’re going to want to do that you’re going to maybe get broken. You know, Oh, I want to jump off this building. Okay. I don’t think he’s going to work out the way you’re hoping. Um, get that out of our heads. What do you want to be when you’re growing up? It’s not the best question when you grow up rather.

What do you want to be when you grow up? The reason it’s not the best question because it implies You’re not a value until you grow up. We can’t say that to this generation. It’s who are you going to be while you’re growing up now? See that question says, am I doing anything about my character? You can tell me you want to be an astronaut.

That’s great. That doesn’t mean you’re going to want to go to school and spend all that time in all of those math and science classes. Oh, but I want to be an astronaut. You mean you’re going to work toward that? You’re actually going to go and get education to accomplish that. Oh, that’s great. What kind of person are you going to be while you grow, while you work on becoming an astronaut?

Are you going to be an honest person? Are you going to be a kind person? Are you going to work on your character development? So who are you going to be while you are growing up? Just a better way to look at that particular, uh, question that puts power, the right power in the words, the right way. Okay. Um, here’s another one that we, we put out there.

Uh, how was school today? How was school today? Hmm. What do I really want to know? Because we know most of the answers will always be fine. It was all right. And usually that silence afterwards makes the adult feel so uncomfortable because they’re wanting so much more information for the most part and you don’t get it is because you asked a closed ended question and you wanted an open ended answer.

You see the question also has nothing to do with that person as a value to human. The question is more about a request. For school inventory. How was school today? How was school today? It’s, you put power on school. Who cares about the building? Who cares about the inventory? The question should be what you really want.

Young person, how did you manage your school day? How was your interactions today?

I even throw in this one. Tell me how you led today. I really want to know about you as a person. I don’t know that I care about the building. I don’t care about the inventory of the school. So think about the way we are using these words. What do you really want to know how school is doing? How’s the building?

How’s the, how is the, the system? Of public education or private education. They don’t know they’re going because they’re told they have to ask a real question as you are seeking real meaning and real connection, because that’s what that parent really wants. I’m assuming, I think you, you want intimacy.

You want to be connected. So you turn toward your young person symbolically turn in toward them and say, Hey, how are you doing? I know you went to school today. How are you doing in that place? How’s it going for you there? What is your experience like? Ask real questions. How is school today is lame. It is old.

It is antiquated and we need to get rid of it because it has nothing to do with human interactions and a human relationship. How is the mall today? I don’t know. They have some new kiosks. I’m just

saying, what do you want? From the relationship. What do you really want on the other side of these questions that we, that we’re out here? Remember the words are really the powerful piece. What are we wanting to get?

I had, I talked to a 17 year old and, um, young lady and I asked her this question, how can I serve you? As you complete your last quarter of your high school journey, how can I serve you as you complete the last quarter of your high school journey? She was stunned when I asked the question first. That means it was like hearing a foreign language and she said, that’s a hard question.

That’s a hard question. The question was age appropriate and it’s necessary. She is in her the last quarter of her high school year. There should be some different thoughts going on in her mind. Well, those words were so powerful that they stopped her in her tracks because they sound like they were foreign because the people who are important in her life are not asking the right questions.

She should have been, she should have been able to say to me, well, um, can you give me some advice on what’s it like to transition from high school going into the workforce or going into college? Can you give me your thoughts on that? Um, can you hold me accountable, uh, that I get my, um, college applications filled out or I get this community service work done?

Now again, you don’t know the relationship that I had with this young person, but the fact that she didn’t, her, her response was, that’s a hard question. It shouldn’t have been a hard question because the communication at home needs to be. Developing the next generation. And if I’m not talking to the next generation in my house, if I barely see them, it’s going to be a problem as they have conversations with other people outside of their home.

They’re not going to know what to do. They’re not going to know how to react and respond and connect. She’s going to continue to say, that’s a hard question.

She need it. To start processing her next level relationships. I was part of her next level relationships. She doesn’t know how to process that. She has spent the majority of her 17 years demanding and requiring of her mother. Now, after a few months of being in a coaching relationship with me, I required her to identify a need a true need.

And she didn’t know where to go. So what my question did was it exposed her? Is that bad? No, it’s not bad at all. She needed to be exposed because she is growing into an adult, not the other way. She’s to be developing more, not less. She’s to be thinking more, not less. And that one question, it jarred her.

So again, I’m leaving you with that thought.

How are we using the words that we’re saying? How are we framing these questions that we’re asking? And are they really helpful as we are working with the Generation Z and beyond? Are these the questions that our future leaders need for their development? How was school today? No, we need that one completely taken off the table.

I challenge you to just, I challenge you to not ever ask it again. Parents don’t ask them. Ask another question that really reveals what you want. And you want to be in relationship with them because they’re going to have to be in relationship with other people. And so it really is scary to me because like, if we think about some of the struggles that we’ve had, how much of those struggles can we go back to, um, lining up with the way that we developed in how we were asked questions and answer questions.

Were we not really prepared for moving forward? Like, um, I’ve, I’ve heard a parent just recently say about their 17 year old. Oh, they’re not ready. That’s the statement. They’re not ready. Not ready for what? Well, um, being an adult, they’re not ready for college. They’re not ready to do their own laundry.

They’re not ready to prepare their own meals. Why not? That has a, that’s a reflection on the instructor. That’s a reflection on the person who has been leading the charge, who has been running the castle, steering the boat. So to just go with a blanket statement, they’re not ready.

Calendars and clocks wait for no one. They’re going to turn 18. This universe says they’re adults ready or not. Here they come.

I could keep going, but I’m going to stop right there because we got to think about this one. I’m going to bring some other people in too, and I’m going to stir this topic up again. Thank you for joining me on this one. There is a lot of things to unpack here, but we got to do some things differently about how we’ve been using words.

We need a new narrative because we’re working with a new generation. I’m honored to serve them. I’m honored to help families learn how to do things better. Thank you for joining me on this podcast. Remember, drop me something in the comments. Give me something to think about. Questions, thoughts, opinions.

You know, it’s America. Okay. Keep it clean. And don’t forget,  like it, subscribe, tell a friend to tell a friend, share me. Okay. Please. Words Fitly Spoken at MADISEL Coach.  Thanks for coming back here. Bye bye.